Maaf

It has been 4th of Ramadhan. Alhamdulillah setakat ni belom tinggal terawikh. Will try to keep it up...Kalau boleh tak nak skip. Semoga sama-sama dapat penuhi. Anyways, hows everyone's doing? It has been nothing much being published here lately. I was not so much excited to publish anything these days. Well, I have a lot to tell...may be I just do not know how. Haha

Let's talk about Maaf. Aku percaya maaf itu sesuatu yang sangat mujarab in a relationship. Especially our relationship with God. I have been listening to IKIM these days. And there are so many inputs. Dan juga input daripada tazkirah dan rancangan tv.

My heart once really broke with an action of a friend. Really frustrated. I have forgiven her for so many times, but she kept on doing it. Until there's no more place in my heart that I can forgive her (even she never say sorry). My heart full of anger and hatred. I know this is salah satu "penyakit hati". So, untuk dijadikan cerita, I just cannot forgive her anymore. Thus, recently, I listened to the radio... "Macam mana Allah nak makbulkan doa kamu kalau Allah belom ampunkan dosa kamu. Macam mana Allah nak ampunkan dosa kamu kalau kamu tidak meminta ampun. Bertaubatlah." So, I was like...okay, kalau setiap kali doa lepas solat tu, memang minta ampun is the first thing that I will do.

Then, yesterday when I watched a drama series named "Ramadhan jangan pergi", the Usztaz says "Kita wajib memaafkan orang yang meminta maaf dan kita juga wajib memaafkan walaupon seseorang itu tidak meminta maaf". He continues, "Macam mana Allah nak maafkan kita sekiranya kita tidak memaafkan orang lain". MasyaAllah...terus tersentap! Yes, we are muslims. We are really a human. We are not nabi or rasul or whatever, tapi kita adalah khalifah Allah. Kita harus ikut amalan yang di ajar oleh nabi muhammad s.a.w. "Kita haruslah memaafkan orang dengan berlapang dada".

Ya Allah, memang aku tersentap. Aku tersedar, bagaimana Allah nak ampunkan aku sedangkan aku sendiri tidak mahu memaafkan org di sekeliling ku. Apa pon, ketika dan waktu ini aku tersedar, apa yang ustaz itu cakap itulah yang aku tengok pada umi & abah. Alhamdulillah....they have taught me well, tapi aku yang zalim.

Ya Allah, ampunkan aku hamba-Mu yang lemah ini.

p/s: Beribadatlah kerana Allah, tapi bukan kerana mahukan sesuatu.

Insyallah.

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